Oh, Australia the beautiful. The great. The… hot.
My southern ass missed the humidity. The air conditioning. The hot water that lasted for longer than five minutes. The free refills at restaurants. The free parking.
God, America is pretty damn great, isn’t it?
Yeah yeah yeah… So that’s all of the bantering you’re going to hear from me. Cause really, those are the only set backs.
Sydney was gorgeous and our explorations were one after another. I made a handful of outings with my new lovely, red lipstick daned, crazy sunglass wearing neighbor and I was finally settling into our broken mess of a beautiful apartment. It definitely had character, that’s for sure.
So with the days hot and the showers short, our next trip was to the popular and very crowded, Bondi Beach.
Being the beach bum that I am, I could not have been more excited. My skin had turned a pasty pale and I felt like how the wicked witch of the west did when she was melting into a heaping puddle on the golden bricks of Oz.
So off we went, windows down and radio blasting, on our way to the ocean blue. We made a few stops here and there, buying mangoes at the local market, sight seeing at the harbour bridge, etc. It was a full morning, but my sights were set on the sandy beaches. Oh, how I had missed it.
So one winding road after another, we made it to my boyfriends secret parking spot and proceeded to change into our bathing suits… in the car. It was a feat in itself really, but the car was parked on a very sloping hill which made tying my bathing suit string nearly impossible. Eventually though, it was managed and we were off walking down the street, heading to the trail that would take us to the beach.
Oh. I didn’t tell you that we weren’t actually parked at the beach. What an oversight. Wasn’t one of my complaints about Australia the parking? Cause you for sure can not park anywhere near the location you actually want to be at without a pricely ticket.
So we then proceeded to plummet down the longest set of freaking staircases I have ever seen in my entire freaking life.
I’m serious. I wish I had a picture of the staircase. You would think I was walking down the great wall of freaking China. Eventually though, we made it and the beach was right there in our line of sight.
I had to give it to him, it was a pretty great parking spot if not for the giant mountain of stairs. Straight ahead was a large grassy area full with people sun bathing, grilling, playing frisbee, cricket, you name it. The beach was full of life and I noticed surfers off in the distance, sitting out on the rocks and riding the waves, which were a lot bigger than the tiny, almost nonexistent waves I was used to from the Gulf of Mexico.
We decided then that our first course of action would be to walk to famous Bondi Walk, which was the walkway that bordered the entire beach, sculptures and what not ornamenting the already lovely scenery.
Unfortunately though, I have no pictures of said walk. Hell, I didn’t even get to walk it myself.
You see, the beaches in Australia are nothing like the beaches I am used to. Where I am from you can park right out in front of the beaches and walk right up to the water without any sort of hills of any kind whatsoever.
In Australia the beaches are built into “pockets or “bays”, bordered from each other by bluffs of rock. So after climbing down the thousands of stairs that lead me to my wanted destination point, my legs did not know what to do. They were in shock. They had never climbed down so many stairs. They were still in the motion of stepping down, and now they had to walk up these bluffs… They were very very confused.
So as we were both walking, hand in hand, my left ankle decided it wanted to take a nice and lovely break, twisting said ankle, making me fall straight down onto my right knee. Because if I’m going to hurt myself, dammit, you better believe I’m going to go all out.
So down I went, my hand breaking away from my boyfriends and onto the ground I splat. I, of course, started laughing while my boyfriend turned around and looked at me with the most confused expression.
How can someone just fall? How did they not trip over something. Surely you had to have tripped over something…
But I was now bleeding profusely out of my right knee and I didn’t know for sure if my left ankle was even walkable anymore. Eventually I was lifted up onto my feet and alas, my ankle was a bit wobbly, but it wasn’t broken… yet.
Strangers passed by, obviously wondering what made that stupid girl fall on a clear concreted sidewalk. Apparently they had never seen a klutz before.
We both made our way down to the lifeguard stand to get bandaged up where I then proceeded to crack a few lifeguard jokes (since I was one at home). They didn’t think my jokes were funny though, because they were bandaging up a girl who hadn’t even touched the water and I was obviously a waste of their precious life saving time.
Once that ordeal was over with, I insisted that I was okay and that I had to at least take a few pictures. So I did. I even contemplated going in for a quick swim and wondered how pissed off the life guards would be if took off the bandage they had put on not five minutes ago to get into the water.
I would have done it if it weren’t for my boyfriend, who promised me that he would bring me back soon to go swimming. I obliged and we made our way back towards the car.
I was fretting the trip back up the gargantuan mountain when my boyfriend pointed to a spot on the bench and told me to take a seat.
My knight in shining armor was going to walk back up to the car by himself and ride around to pick me up, so I wouldn’t have to. So there I sat, knee still bleeding, and basked in the sunshine for a few more minutes.
The car eventually whipped on around and into my chariot I went.
And that my friends, is how I almost got to walk the Bondi walk and an example of how my klutziness can ruin a perfectly amazing Australian day…. or any kind of day for that matter.
I’d take a bow for you all, but I might kill myself trying.
Below are pictures from that beautiful day..
Until Next Time!!!