Let’s fast forward a bit and bring you all to the present. I am now back at home in America and I just received a long awaited package….
There is something about getting your things back from your ex that is surreal. Yes, it’s fantastic that I finally got my stuff back 8 months after the fact, but it is also heartbreaking. Heartbreaking in a way in which you wish you could have never gotten your stuff back to begin with.
When I left Australia 8 months ago, I had every intention of going back. Come home for 6 weeks so I can be with family for Christmas, get some more of my stuff together, and go back. So in doing all of that, I left my apartment in Australia with an empty suitcase. Smart decision at the time, of course.
Then I received that horrible phone call no one ever wants to get…ever. And in a blink of an eye, I was no longer going back to Australia. My stuff, still hanging up in the closet and folded in drawers, my books on the mantle and my coats hanging on the rack- they would remain indefinitely.
So after the months and months of heartbreak, I built myself again. I became stronger and independent- everything a girl should be after such a horrible break up. I was no longer leaning on someone, because there was no one there to lean on anymore. It was just me.
Imagine being that built back up and strong. Imagine moving on. Imagine planning your future.
And then BAM… the past shows back up and hits you right in the face.
So this box which holds all of my past belongings in it, is here.
Sitting in front of me.
I open it hesitantly but eagerly at the same time, forgetting what all my past contained.
I see shoes. So many shoes. How do I own so many shoes? I see a pair in which his mother bought me one time when we went shopping together and I caress the leather under my fingertips. I see the bag that his father got for me when he went to Budapest. Then I see books. Five or so of them and my heart stops when I come across one. It was an old book with a copyright of 1918, Introduction To Child Psychology. I had picked up this book in an old used bookstore in the city when we lived in Melbourne. I had recently told my boyfriend that I had chosen Psych as my major so I could work with special needs children and he was ecstatic. So much so that he wanted to buy me that book to celebrate before going home and cooking me a dinner of my choosing.
My art supplies were in plenty as I look back on my past drawings and one that my boyfriend tried to draw of me. In my findings I discover a small map that laid out the city of Sydney, it’s bike paths, train stations, cities and what not. I forgot that I had gotten that from one of his friends, to help me envision the city easier. The rest of the box contained nothing but clothes, in which I found a handful of Australian nickels in one of my pants pockets.
I stopped looking after that.
You can call me crazy all you want. I don’t care. You might not understand any of this. But to me, this whole thing was crazy. This box only contained material objects and yet it contained five months of my life. Most of these things I have never seen outside of Australia. They weren’t meant to be worn and touched and read outside of that country. They were never supposed to see the light of American sunshine and breathe American air. I looked at these things as if they were still in my apartment in Summerhill. They have no place here here in Alabama.
I close the box.
Being strong stands no chance when it comes to fighting past emotions. I am over the relationship. I am happy. Do I miss him? That’s only human nature. We are still friends. Does the past hit me so hard I can barely stand up straight and breathe? All of the time. But every single day I get stronger. I think back onto my memories with fondness. I loved Australia. I loved my friends. I loved the family I had become a part of and I loved him. More than anything.
But as the saying goes, good things fall a part so better things can fall together, correct?
So the way I see it, something truly amazing fell a part… so I can only imagine what’s going to fall together.
Until Next Time!!!